Hold Them Tight

Lights turned off, tummy full from dinner, I carried my baby boy into his room. Every night is the same exact routine. I've always thrived off of the same schedule day in and day out. Royce depends on it and it gives me sanity. Tonight felt different, more important. Royce knows no difference but I'm his mommy and with that comes heavy responsibility and intense, passionate love that knows no boundaries. I climbed into bed, laid him across my lap and begin to hum our usual song. "Jesus Loves me...this I know...for the Bible tells me so.." His little warm body started to relax and soften and I could hear his breathing begin to slow down and deepen. Every other night I get anxious around this time and hope he goes down quickly so I can have my "me" time. Again, tonight felt different. 

I savored and absorbed this quiet moment and stopped my thoughts from taking me anywhere but there. Tomorrow is never a for sure thing. What if this really was my last night to rock him and snuggle him and soothe him? No, I won't let my mind go there. But I taught myself a lesson then and there. Slow down. I was given this miracle, this blessing of a life to hold in my very hands. Who am I to rush him to bed so I can have my time? This is our time to make the absolute most of every day, every night. He is mine and I am his and we are the Lord's. 

This journey of motherhood has been far from smooth, far from easy but I am thankful for each challenge along the way. What is a challenge for if not to teach us a valuable lesson? I am writing to tell myself and anyone else caught up in the midst of a messy battle, or a dark time to hold tight. Hold tight to your little one, hold tight to the promise that you are loved. There is nothing too difficult for us to conquer..as long as we give it up to the hands of our Maker.

With all that said I ask for anyone who prays diligently to pray for Royce and I. For protection, for understanding and for peace. Life is not meant to be lived alone. Strength in numbers. Thank you.