Over-Due

Six days over-due. It's really not as awful as I thought it might be but I am getting nervous that he is going to be this massive baby. Each day that goes by he's growing more and more. It's incredible to see how my body has managed to accommodate him so comfortably. At least I know by Friday I will have a baby boy in my arms. Praying that I don't have to go on pitocin and possibly have to get a c-section. I would LOVE to avoid that. All in God's hands.
So, that's my physical state. As for my emotional state I have been on a bit of a roller coaster. The uncertainty with finances is definitely taking a toll. I had a huge mental break down two nights ago thinking how unprepared I am to be a mother. Yikes!!! The longer over-due I am the longer it is that I can't work...I did not plan ahead very well. I just keep praying that God will provide and get me through. It is looking like I'm on my own for supporting Royce which scares me but at least I will be able to say someday I got through some really tough years! I found some affordable insurance for him and a really great pediatrician. Only the best for my little Royce. So soon till I get to meet him face to face. Fingers still crossed I go into labor naturally. Getting a pedicure today just might do the trick :)

Blessing in Disguise

Reasons why God is in control of timing:
1. I got a call for a job today which I would have missed if I had the baby. (1-5pm Monday-Friday. $10 an hour starting) Receptionist position.
2. I found my camera which I thought I lost so now when I do have Royce my battery is charged and I will be able to have photos.
3. I was able to go to Target and get all my nursing essentials. Tank tops, pump, etc.
4. I got to spend good quality time with just me and my grammy.
5. I get to have a good nights sleep :)

Bumps and Bruises

This morning I went into my doctors office for my NST (Non-stress Test), was hooked up for 20 minutes, heard Royce's strong heartbeat, and was sent home immediately after that. Unfortunately for me my doctor was called in to do emergency surgery and was unable to see me at all. Yes, I am only 1 day past my due date but my emotions took over and I just cried my way home. As you may already know I had my hopes pretty high about this appointment so it was a hard let down. I have been reading about how women can get discouraged and disappointed when their due date comes and goes but wow, I am feeling that now! Bless my mothers heart for trying to keep my mind out of the gutter and completely giving up. She makes me daily lists of ways to pass the time, a very good method of distraction if you ever find yourself in this position. If it were up to me right now I would bury myself under some blankets and watch a full season of Desperate Housewives on Netflix. (That's about 12, 40 min. episodes to put things in perspective).  

As for the plan of action in this upcoming week, Monday I have another NST, Thursday at 3:30pm my doctor is going to give me a drug to ripen my cervix, and Friday morning the 31st of August I will be admitted into Labor and Delivery to be induced. Still hoping and praying that I will go into labor naturally because I hear for first time mom's it's a lesser chance of having to have a C-section. But, all in God's timing...everything happens for a reason.

Happy as a Clam

The day I have been waiting for for 9 months has finally come. Royce's room is clean, organized, and fully prepared for his arrival. I wake up calm, well rested, and ready to go on my morning walk at 7:30am. After my daily breakfast of Raisin Bran Crunch I noticed a sort of leak that I couldn't hold back from coming. I knew this was something to look out for. I truly thought I had ruptured my water and was having a slow trickle rather than the classic gush like you see in the movies. In the back of my mind I thought "what a peaceful way to go into labor!" I got a full nights sleep, my hair and makeup looked superb, and it's my exact due date! On top of that, no pain. After a call to my doctors office they sure enough told me to go into labor and delivery to get checked out. 3 hours and 3 pelvic exams later I did the walk of shame out of the hospital and went home. My contractions have completely stopped and on top of that I am completely closed up and still only fifty percent effaced (thinned out). BUMMER!

He seems to be the happiest little camper there ever was, content and peaceful staying in the womb with no intention of leaving. Instead of planning how I am going to get back at him for making mommy anxious, I am embracing this long day with a huge bowl of frozen yogurt, aromatherapy, and some good old rest and relaxation. I am done trying all the crazy ways to induce labor. I'm sorry but giving yourself diarrhea with Castor oil and spicy food is officially the dumbest way to try to induce oneself. Labor is induced when the baby says he's ready. If I want to be the kind of parent who allows their children to decide things for themselves I need to start with this...allowing him to decide when he wants to be born into this mad world. My anxiety and anxiousness is completely gone and I am just looking forward to my doctors appointment in the morning. Here's to another full night of sleep! :)

Waiting Game...

Day 6 of "pre-labor"...it really should be called a big huge tease. With braxton-hicks contractions, full blown contractions and a few other signs of labor going on I've decided that I'm just going to pretend I'm not really having a baby so I can stop getting my hopes up. I hear it all the time from nearly every single woman I talk to that first babies are always the most difficult. Well thank you Royce, you haven't let me down! Stubborn already. Today is Wednesday, I am due tomorrow, but have a Doctors appointment Friday...INDUCE ME PLEASE! Wouldn't it be great if babies knew our schedules and would make their grand appearance on the day that we get all our laundry done, are having a great hair day, and have had a good nights sleep? Just another reminder that parenthood is going to be a sacrifice. I love this bundle growing inside me with my entire heart. Prayer for patience. Prayer for a willingness to give up a need to control everything. I ask Royce everyday very nicely, "Please come out to meet me"...he doesn't listen very well. Again, a reminder that it's all on God's timing, I am not in control. Anxious for Friday to come. I need to enjoy these last few nights as a single unit...